The art of imperfection. April 2012. Paris
It’s a wonder how some phrases at times get stuck in your mind. Phrases can be obsessive just like songs. As if someone, for some reason keeps repeating them in your head. So today it is “the art of imperfection”’ “the art of imperfection”’ … I remembered that this was the name of a nice book that I found five years ago in a bookstore in Mill Valley Center not far from San-Francisco. It was published by two photographers and was full of weird, but at the same time very tasty and absolutely “wrong” photographs. Then I thought how happy those two photographers must be to not only create strange photographs but to have the courage to publish them. They do not fit into the standard conceptions or frameworks that we think of. They are so free that I even envy them. I would like to be as free and independent.
So why does art with irregular shapes, models with irregular features attract me as much? Why do mistakes often attract attention more than things that are harmonious?
I close my eyes and try to stop my flow of thoughts, but something from inside responded to me: “because this is the beginning of relationships”. Yes, that’s true! Polarity, like in physics, like in sex, like in wars, like in games, like in art, creates opposition. To be more precise, it demands a response, and life starts — the energy splashes. Yes, of course, it is great to be balanced in life, we all want it and on the other hand it’s great to be “out of balance” to develop your own peculiarity, yes, this is a challenge and it causes a strong reaction. But this is what life is about — Dialogue and Relationships!
And what are my peculiarities that I generally try to hide and conceal, to correct? Maybe I should reveal and master them, instead? I prepared myself today for inner work and a dialog with my bird- teacher.
Me: “I study psychology, but not to be a therapist, I like the study-process itself. According to the Bird’s advice, I already started learning more, using all my greediness… asking teachers to come more often, plan more educational events… study… study… I am A Student, only a student.”
The Bird’s voice answers in my head after I connect to its wisdom through “shape shifting” into its strong and free body.
The Bird: “ Not everyone can be a student!! It’s special! For example, during interviews you, Xenia, play the role of a student so that spiritual teachers (those you interview) can teach you and the audience. You being a great student can help and support them in their teacher role; this is how polarities can work together in relationships. Flag it! :)) … And I have another fun idea that can help with your “inner critic”. If you ever feel you did not do a perfect job…instead of your “favorite” self-criticism … you can always say to yourself “I am learning ”.
I started to move in my room, changing roles, playing both parts (me and the bird).
Me: “In organizational work, I like start-ups, and when everything is settled — I get bored… I don’t like this about myself.”
The Bird: “Yes, and this way of being gives you quick efficiency and can help any company a great deal. In Russian culture, leaders tend to nurture their current position, instead of contemplating other possibilities, for many historical and geographical reasons. It’s a great quality, but can sometimes lead to stagnation. So you, Xenia, are doing something new for our culture, getting the task done and moving forward. You do not compete with new leaders. You are thankful to them since you can move ahead. Yes, move forward faster! By the way … you are moving to Genève now, and you should think not only of your relocation, but delegate carefully and mindfully all unfinished matters in Moscow .
Me: “Thank you! Another thing, I’m constantly changing my spheres of activity: business, politics, psychology, organizational work…I feel shallow in doing that.”
The Bird: “Yes, and you live in different cultures and interact with various spiritual trends as well. You are interested not in a small part of life, but in the whole picture, different societies and their interactions. You should study both your own personal psychology and that of different societies and cultures more deeply. Remember, you already know the Institute that teaches exactly this all over the world. The Deep Democracy Institute. Do not stay in Russia; go to Africa, Japan and South America with your teachers.”
Me: “So what should I develop, do more of? Dance on the edge of the world’s boundaries proactively?”
The Bird: “Salsa dance with the world, “naked” :)”